THE NORCAL PECKERWOOD hatched over
60 years ago in some undisclosed northern, shithole state of these Untied States of America. The first in a large brood of hatchlings, THE NORCAL PECKERWOOD left the nest while still a fledgling. After years of migratory flight across 49 of 50 states, THE NORCAL PECKERWOOD settled permanently on the Pacific Coast of Northern California.

THE NORCAL PECKERWOOD hatched a long time ago in some far northern region of these United States of America. He was the first of an entire brood of hatchlings and the first to leave the nest. After years of migratory flight across 49 of 50 states, THE NORCAL PECKERWOOD eventually settled into its more-or-less permanent environment on the rocky Pacific shoreline of Northern California. There, THE NORCAL PECKERWOOD is a belligerent bully of a bird that loudly squawks its disapproval of all things political, cultural, and societal, ensuring birds of every other species are aware of its rancorous displeasure.

Though well educated, THE NORCAL PECKERWOOD is known to mire itself in petty subject matter, some of which borders on the inane, the insane, and the profane. THE NORCAL PECKERWOOD is not averse to engaging in low-brow humor, performing some of the most infantile quips and cracks as routine behavior, nor is it above some of the most primitive jests practiced by the lower species of bird and man.

THE NORCAL PECKERWOOD is known to be a loud, abrasive creature, brusquely cawing its harsh, often invective-laced opinions far and wide. A virtual foreigner to concepts of probity and decorum, THE NORCAL PECKERWOOD is renowned for its inappropriate public behavior and raunchy, sometimes scatological commentary.

For all of these stated reasons, birders are warned not to directly approach THE NORCAL PECKERWOOD, but rather to observe this curious, recalcitrant, incursive creature from afar — preferably from behind the safety of a blind or secure firewall.